What do you think of this poem?
Another one slightly revised:
Upon Which I Always Gaze
I sit in a ward, 20 stories high
bringing me face to face with that antique
plate .
We both collect dust, as we sit
I upon the sill,
and its antique plate that rests in its cabinet in the sky
Forget about the ground on which I stand,
the gravity that pins me down,
as I gaze into the face of the moon,
a fine piece of china collecting years of dust.
And forget about the sun that punnishes my eyes.
I can still show you how I fly.
I can trace the constellations in the sky,
and Find the star that represents me.
I can narrow in on every intricate detail
as I let the earth fall back, shape and reshape my existence.
Or I can step aside and watch its dusty mantle
come crashing into a million pieces,
sending my days into dissarray, with my head held down, searching,
salvaging, and re-arranging each splinter of glass
with no guiding picture-
as I glue the world together the way I think it should be.
This poem is exquisite. I loved reading it. It was so mellow, and calming. Like the wolf implied, it contains commendable imagery, and is so unlike some crap I've read before.
It made me feel so alive in a down to earth way, yet made me feel in connection with the cosmos. I felt like I was seeing the world, and no superficial bull crap opposed the view.
8.3/10
I do wish more people could read your work, here, and comment on it.
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